Keep Off The Grass

I don't know exactly why, but I took this sign personally. Maybe it's that 'There but for fortune go I' - thing in the back of my mind.

Granted, I did hitch-hike thousands of miles in my youth, but it was not out of necessity, it was an adventure, ... 'searching' for someone who, as it turned out, was never lost in the first place ...

I think it's the authoritarian tone that makes me want to raise my middle-finger, like those "no spitting, no swearing, no nothing" -type signs.

Whatever, I digress, ... I think the ones that bug me most and which I've never been able to figure out, are those in-your-face "KEEP OFF THE GRASS" signs.

I mean, wtf is the purpose of maintaining a lawn anyway? To contemplate the aesthetics of a densely-packed mass of shaved shoots? To watch them grow? To have a place to put a sign on?

To my mind, lawns are there to walk barefoot on; for kids to play, dogs to crap and lovers to screw on ...

"Keep off the grass" - Bah! ... Whenever I see one of these I go out of my way to nonchalantly trample the green, ... unless, of course, there's a sign saying: "Beware Of The Dog".


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